maraoz.comWeird People
I.
I always thought of myself as weird. Well, not really. But when I did start thinking of myself as weird, my life improved a lot.
As a kid, I struggled to conform to other’s expectations of normalcy. Everyone played fútbol during school recess, but I hated it. One of the few times I ventured to the field, a classmate accidentally kicked the ball into my face and broke one of my front teeth. He didn’t even say sorry. What the fuck was I doing standing there next to the goalpost?
At some point, I decided I’d stop trying.
I remember coming out to my mom: “I’m not normal”.
She pushed back: “Yes you are.”
“I don’t mean it in a bad way, mom”, I replied. “I’m OK with being weird.”
With time, she came to accept it too.
Growing up, thinking of myself as weird was a really helpful model. It explained how I loved stuff (eg: math, reading) when almost everyone else hated it. It gave me permission to indulge in all my nerdy interests like space, how the brain works, and fantasy novels. Most of my friends at school were weird too.
I’m using the word ‘weird’ intentionally here. More positive alternatives are: authentic, unconventional, contrarian, eccentric, original, etc. I’m sticking with weird because I’d love to turn my childhood fears into a cape.
II.
After high-school, I went to study computer science at ITBA. Boy was I up for a surprise. In the next five years, I was going to meet the weirdest, most awesome bunch of nerds.
I had felt special for competing in math olympics every year. Some of them had traveled to Egypt for coding olympics. Most of my new friends were smarter than me, had learned how to code in high-school, and cared less than I did for social norms. I had finally found my tribe!
To be clear: I’m not talking only of nerds here. Nerds are a special kind of weird people who love explicit knowledge. Over my life I befriended many non-nerd weirdos too. Musicians, chefs, language teachers, yoga instructors, personal trainers, mentors, and my wife (which I think I also succeeded in turning into a nerd).
Weird people permeate all walks of life and add spice to living.
III.
Normal people are the vast majority. That’s one definition of normal: at most 2 sigmas away from the average. I found that they often don’t like anything too far from average either. They try to fix their own weirdness. They reject external weirdness.
Weird people differ. Most suffer in childhood, trying to accommodate the overwhelming majority of normalcy. Some of us are lucky and able to embrace weirdness and move on to be functioning adults. Sadly, some get left behind and never adapt.
In my case, I accepted being weird at around 10 years old. Family circumstances, which I may write about at another time, catalyzed the change for me. Since then, my life was amazing. Accepting my weirdness was a big contributor to my happiness.
You could say I chose it to be part of my identity, my self-model. And it was a great choice. I’m writing this in part as a coming-out for people who don’t know me enough or know me only from my writing. And also as motivation for younger folks struggling with conformity. And lastly, as a call for “normal” people to embrace their inner weirdness.
IV.
Being weird has some neat advantages.
First and most important: weird people are flexible. Weird people with critical thinking can look at their lives and decide to change anything. They are used to people not understanding them. They have regular conversations with loved ones about their new plans, and have learned to deal with the reactions. Friends and family have also learned to accept this (or to just ignore them).
Second, weird people can get really good at stuff. They don’t mind being outstanding. I found normal people sometimes fear success, as it challenges their normal social dynamics. To get really good at something, you have to be thinking about it all day, every day. You have to talk about your obsession with everyone you meet. This is weird. But weird people are used to that. So they can get freakishly good when they follow their curiosity.
Third, weird people are subversive. They have a healthy disrespect for rules. That’s because many rules in the world are designed for normal people. So we learn, from childhood, to circumvent those that don’t make sense for us. It’s a survival mechanism.
As adults, this turns into a huge asset. Knowing that most rules suck for edge cases lets you see the world with a fresh perspective. And that’s how progress begins: weird people not tolerating “how things are done here”, and pushing for better ways. I stress it begins with weird people, because change often consolidates with hard work from normal people.
I do have to admit subversiveness can sometimes be a liability too. Weird people: be safe around law enforcement!
(Subversiveness is a word that’s a lot on my mind lately. I think wokeism as a social-historical trend subdued our collective inner rebellious spirit. Maybe not the inner spirit, but it has definitely changed social dynamics. Hopefully, with the current pullback to basedness, we’ll see a return to subversiveness.)
V.
Weird people of the world: embrace it. If you’re weird and passing the act of normal: get out of the closet! A great life lies ahead.
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Acknowledgments
The string ‘weird’ appears 34 times in this post. I wanted to acknowledge that.
Thanks to my weird friends Franco, Lucas, deadpine, and JP for early feedback on this post.
Cover photo by MidJourney